


i'd be stupid, for you

by romcommunism



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Post-Coital Cuddling, amber's not dead yet this takes place directly after cole gets fired in szn 4, however i care abt kutner and taub's the only person kutner ever got development w, nobody is going to read this and i embrace that, so here we are I guess, taub is so out of character he's almost unrecognizable bc i hate show taub with a burning passion, that tag sounds so weird but it's essentially all this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24475702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romcommunism/pseuds/romcommunism
Summary: it's a bad idea. they both know it's a bad idea.
Relationships: Lawrence Kutner/Chris Taub
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	i'd be stupid, for you

**Author's Note:**

> hello the three or four people who read house fanfiction, and the one person who read house fanfiction that's not hilson related. welcome to my humble abode. we can have bad taste together.
> 
> also as i prefaced taub is so wildly out of character (guilt? for his actions? woah what's that) because show!taub is a plague on society but he makes kutner happy so i am forced into caring about him and that makes me righteously angry

"This won't happen again," he says, though his chin's still resting in the crook of Kutner's shoulder, his arms are still wrapped around his waist, and it doesn't feel like (to Kutner, at least) Taub has any intention of moving any time soon. "It can't happen again."

"That's what you said the last time," Kutner replies, restlessly tapping his fingers on Taub's back. Long-short-long, two swipes of his pointer to make a "+", and one more long tap, just for good measure. "And the time before that, unless that was someone else who _seduced_ me when all _I_ wanted to do was watch Doctor Who with my coworker."

"You weren't complaining," Taub mumbles, and Kutner hums in agreement, readjusting to rest his chin on the the top of Taub's head. "And don't use the word _'seduced'_ , it's gross."

"When I think of a better word to make you uncomfortable with, I'll let you know." Kutner says, and he puffs out a little laugh at Taub's pout. "And, once again, correct me if I'm thinking of someone else, but I don't think _you_ were complaining all that much either, so why do we need to stop?"

"You know why."

"You said that wasn't an issue."

"It's not, to me, but as we've established, I'm not the greatest person. I figured it might mean something to you, though."

"How noble of you, considering how I feel about being Monika Lewinsky _after_ you've _coerced_ me into bed three times."

Taub flinches. "'Coerced' might be even worse, it makes me sound like a pedophile."

Kutner laughs and puts on a mockingly sweet tone, "It's okay, I like _older_ men."

Taub shudders in disgust and buries his head into Kutner's chest. "That sounded so awful. You're an ass."

"You knew what you were getting into." 

"I knew it the moment I saw you use a stethoscope as a yo-yo."

"And yet, here you are." Kutner says, loosening his hold around Taub's shoulders. "Either I'm _really_ good, which is debatable, or you actually _like_ me, which is also debatable-"

"I do like you." Taub interjects.

Kutner's quiet for a second. "You do?"

"Of course I do. We're friends. You're the one who points that out all the time."

"I wasn't aware you agreed with me."

"Kutner, if I came over here in the first place-"

"Yeah, but you didn't consider yourself friends with your boss's daughter. Or that nurse. Or Amber."

"I never slept with Amber."

"You got her _underwear_ last week-"

"Which doesn't require me sleeping with her."

"Even if you didn't, you've stared at her ass enough that you might as well have been."

"Okay, that's not fair-" Taub starts, then cuts himself off. He instead opts to nuzzle his face into Kutner's shoulder, almost affectionately, almost sweetly. Kutner's grip on him tightens, and his breathing gets a little uneven and feathery; almost too subtle to notice. "I didn't just come over here for sex," Taub says. "Or to stare at your ass, which apparently, to you, is just as serious an offense."

Kutner snorts, and gently draws patterns on Taub's back with his index finger (hearts, smiley faces, random squiggles). "Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration."

"Maybe, huh?"

"Maybe." Kutner says, and Taub can hear the smile on his face.

"I came over because I like spending time with you, idiot. I was enjoying watching Star Trek with you."

"You hate sci-fi."

"But I like making fun of things, it's how I show my love."

Kutner laughs and Taub's mouth curves into a smile against his shoulder. "Sex is just a fun, added bonus, huh." he says, and it's a statement, not a question.

Taub sighs, "Yeah, which is why we should stop."

Kutner's hand stills on his back, and he knows he's struck a nerve again. The silent question _why, though?_ hangs heavily in the air.

"Every time I've... messed around-" 

"Oh, _please_ , say it with your chest."

" _Fine_. Every time I've _cheated on my wife_ , it's always ruined everything. My partner's daughter couldn't look me in the eyes anymore. I used to ask the nurse how her weekend was every Monday morning, until she went out of her way to avoid me. She asked for a practice transfer, just because she didn't want to see me."

"That's understandable," Kutner says. "Why they avoided you, I mean."

"Yeah, I _know_. And I don't want that to happen with you."

"It wouldn't."

"But it _could_ -"

"But it wouldn't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I'm still _here_ , aren't I?"

"Yes, but-"

"Nothing's going to change. I'm pretty stubborn, not sure if you've noticed that."

Taub thinks back to every differential they've ever had, Kutner yelling out ideas not matter how outlandish they might be, how many times he gets shot down. He thinks about his quick change from 6 to 9, spitballing ideas even halfway out the door. He thinks about Kutner breaking down everyone of the team's walls, when he held Thirteen's hand when Amber was giving her a hard time about the dog and the wheelchair guy, when he comforted Cole and babysat whenever things at home got too hectic for his job, when he invited Taub to stay the night when the guilt about having to sleep next to his wife was too much. And how they ended up here.

"Yeah, you are pretty stubborn, huh." and it's a statement, not a question.

Kutner chuckles. "My mom likes to call me persistent, my dad likes to call me an idiot."

"Who do you think is right?"

Kutner's back to fidgeting, toying with the tasseled edge of the blanket they're huddled underneath, tapping quickly on Taub's shoulder with no discernible pattern anymore, jiggling his foot like he always does when there's a question he doesn't want to answer.

Taub decides he'll let him dodge it, God knows Kutner's asked him more than enough questions he's given nonanswers to or just changed the subject. He settles back into Kutner's grasp and tries to even out his breathing.

"You set an alarm?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Taub."

He's drifting off to Kutner doodling squiggles on his back again, big loopy ones, almost delicate like cursive, and he smiles sleepily because even when they're falling asleep, Kutner can never just sit still. As the last shred of consciousness leaves him he feels Kutner press a kiss gently to his cheek.

"I think my dad's right."

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @pennsylvaniagoth
> 
> idk what i'm doing either i wrote this at like one in the morning for self indulgence's sake
> 
> also fun facts: the tapping kutner's doing on taub's back in the beginning is "K+T" in morse code because kutner's a fucking loser


End file.
